Shashi Tharoor - bad

Image by MEDEF via Flickr

Shashi Tharoor - bad.
MPs with criminal records - good.
MPs with corruption charges - good.

Yee! Lets celebrate the Indian democracy.

So, a person with a credible past (not consisting of murder charges, corruption allegations, riot charges) had the bloody guts to enter the "system" which celebrates people who take part in the bracketed terms, and what was he met with? Allegations. Baseless charges. Mockery. And last but not the least, pure and utter quintessential trademark Indian nonsense, mastered by our hallowed "experienced" politicians.

If anyone wants to know the "revised" criteria to be popular in politics in this country, its as follows:
1. DON'T be tech-savvy.
2. DON'T speak out about what you think.
3. DON'T be open and accessible to the public.
4. DON'T speak English in a way which doesnt include Indian words.
5. DON'T have a girlfriend if you are over 50!
6. Last but not the least, DON'T "mentor" anyone.

Be a dumbass with a Nokia 3210, always have a phone diary in your pocket in case you need to call someone (coz one cant check the address book on the phone, that would be counted as tech savvy), be QUIET for heaven's sake (aka SHUT THE F*CK UP!) and dont talk to ANYONE among the public about anything that concerns the...erm...public(?), speak English the Indian way replete with erm "chakki pissing" (pissing in this case is a Hindi word) type things (or even better dont speak English!), DON'T for heaven's sake have a girlfriend when you are in your 50s (its against the Indian kulture!), get married like a good mama's boy in your early 20s and be screwed (erm...that wasnt a slang) for the rest of your life and stick to your wife (coz thats the Indian kulture).

Right, listed above is the recipe for the perfect Indian politician. Follow the above mentioned things and thou shalt be a successful politician in India.